I feel like my thoughts are too personal so i never know what to write here

a place i call home


photo from : traveller.autobarn.com

Faith and love brought me to live away from my origin.  Dream and determination made me strong.  Motherhood changed my world upside down.  I did not regret every bit of it, but I have to admit it wasn’t an easy way.

My journey to adapt and adjust a new life in Australia was not always a smooth sailing.  In my first year on the land down under I had a bit of rough path.   It was not my first time living overseas.  I went to study for couple years in the State.  But I guess, life as a student and wife are completely different.  I was young, confident, had no fear or care at that time.  Now that I am married and just left my job to follow my better-half to live in his native country, suddenly, my confidence went to zero.  I felt stupid, useless, financially relied on my new husband, and was very shy and sensitive.

One lovely evening, I walked my dog to the foreshore.  Daffy, was one year old golden retriever, he was a very cute puppy. Encountered an elderly woman with her posh groomed white poodle, Daffy decided want to play. It was at the dog exercise area, mind you, where dogs actually can run around and play, off the leash. The pretty poodle was waggling her ( I assumed it was she ) tail and ran to approach Daffy, wanted to play too.  I was watching two of them.  Suddenly, the woman pointed her index finger to me and screamed: ” you…Asian girl, don’t you know how to walk your dog! Go back to your country, if you don’t know how to handle your dog!”  The woman then scooped her poodle and walked away. I was stunned, speechless, and hurt that I couldn’t say anything back or defended myself.

That was just one of few similar episodes that I had experienced.  I know  I can’t generalized that most Australian or Caucasian are like that.  Because, my lovely neighbors  next door where we used to live were very  nice to me.  They just like my own parents.  Until now, we still see each other regularly.  My neighbors now are also very friendly, helpful and caring. We get along pretty good.

A sense of belonging, I believe that’s what most of us want.  Some would find it easier than others.  I found it not so easy and made me feel frustrated.  Often I felt no matter how hard I try to fit in, to be accepted in this community, in the end they would not choose me to be in the group.  They chose someone else who more like them. Rejection. Ouch. But it was not the end of the story.  I got used to it and became kind of…. whatever,  life’s already complicated enough so don’t sweat over little things….

sun-AUSphoto from: augaragesales.com

Now almost fifteen years later, two kids and two countries I can say I gained my confidence back.  I am a capable and independent woman and mother.  I have my circle of friends both Australian and Asian.  I am trying to help out in my community and blend in.  But occasionally, I wonder where I belong to, where I fit. I am not white enough to be white and not black enough to be black either.  I feel like I am still a stranger on a foreign land. I speak a language that isn’t my mother tongue and still can’t say it properly.  I still can’t really understand the joke.

I’ve been living in my adopting country for more than a decade and I am glad to call it home now. No matter what I think home is where your heart is and where your loved ones are, despite all the drama, right or wrong, I am part of it now.


IMG_1618photos by ohdearria

To the fellow Australian, happy Australia Day….Aussie Oi Oi Oi! Enjoy the sun, sea, BBQ, beer, and pavlova! 🙂

4 responses to “a place i call home”

  1. motherhood upside down…hiks 1.5th baru jadi ibu aja aku dah sering mewek mbaaa. apalagi mba ria ya dah jauh dari rumah besarin anak kembar sendirian pulaakk . aahhh you are a strong woman!

    tapi aku much inspired banget deh mba with indonesian woman who live abroad taking care of their family and everything lah by them self. it looks wow and super woman banget pokoe hihihi.
    and including you mba who ever shared ur stories about ur struggle living abroad doesnt look as good as poeple thought. dipostingan mana ya aku lupa judulnya hehehehe

    kasar banget si mba si cewe bule itu. tapi setauku orang asia tuh kadang suka di remehin sama orang2 bule.hhuhuhuhuhu


    1. Yeah gitu dey Nis, hidup di luar negeri itu ada enak dan ga-nya. Kalo buat aku, enak ga macet, udara msh bersih bebas polusi, banyak free park utk anak2, nice clean beautiful beaches, ga enaknya ga bisa nyalon sering2 seperti di Indo 🙂 Mahal aza disini. Pokoknya utk urusan salon menyalon, pijit2, perawatan diri, dan tentu aza makanan, Indonesia is still the best!
      Sebenarnya ga super woman sih, tapi emang harus dikerjain sendiri krn ga ada yg namanya pembokat 24/7 kan 🙂

      Soal si lady with dog, itu kejadian setengah tahun pertama pas pinda sini. Memang ada beberapa case seperti itu, tapi sangat jarang lah sekarang ini. It was my bad day!
      Kalo menurut aku pribadi nih ya, yang bikin orang Asia itu kadang suka ga dianggap sebab kadang some Asians ga mau mingle dengan yg western, ga mau helping in community, maunya gaulnya ya sama sesama asian terus, some of them even just want to speak their language only. Some Asians like the life style of living in western country, but they still love the way they live in their homeland, example: pembantu 24/7. Ada loh yg sampai bawa pembantu dan tiap 3 bulan (visa matter) di ganti sama pembantu/sanak saudara yg lain. Kalau mereka kerja it’s ok tapi ini kerjanya ya arisan sana sini hehehe…

      Pada prinsipnya sih, sepanjang kita ga males, pasti bisa deh ngerjainnnya. When there’s a will, there’s a way 🙂


  2. Ha..ha.ha.bisa dibayangkan dikatain oleh Oma bule, padahal sama sama pendatang yah sebenarnya 🙂


    1. Betul Eddy, pada hal si Oma juga bukan termasuk native Australia ya, sama2 pendatang aza belagu dey….hahaha!


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About Me

Hello… I’m Ria

I’m a mother of two boys. Yoga and dogs are my best friends. Plants and travelling are my addiction. I’m a lover of all things darling based in Perth, Aus.

Thank you for dropping by here. Follow me along if you would like to see what I’m up to! :)


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